“So, let me get this straight—that man over there, the one with tufts of fur sewn onto his stupid hat to resemble ears, the one merrily conversing in the common tongue and drinking a pint, is your magical familiar?”

“Worry not, this sort of misunderstanding happens all the time. Barnabas, my feline companion and arcane conduit, was the rather unfortunate recipient of an inadvertent polymorph spell. He has adapted to his new form very quickly, owing to an intellect boosted by our shared connection, but we still search out means to undo this terrible affliction; he hides it well, but I worry about the existential agony he must face with his new form.

“So, let me get this straight—that man over there, the one with wizard runes stitched into his garish cloak, the one who I saw patting you on the head earlier, thinks you’re some sort of pet cat?”

“I was running away from a crime family, and this weird guy comes tearing through an alley looking for his familiar—it’s like a pet, but magic or something. Times being tough and me being run out of my regular haunts, I had resorted to eating city rats. So like I said, this guy is looking for his cat after some sort of magical explosion and comes across me nearby, chasing and eating rats. Bim, bam, bom, he makes sure I get three squares a day and I get to see the world.”

“So you’re telling me you’re 100% human, and not some magical creature the guy accidentally blew up in his workshop?”

“Yep, that’s the short of it.”

“And your ability to see in the dark?”

“A life spent living at night trained my eyes, nothing special there.”

“And the agility?”

“Just flexible, I guess.”

“You circle your bedroll three times before settling down for the night.”

“Have to do one last check to make sure everything’s safe—that’s just prudent.”

“You literally meow when he calls for you.”

“Eh, probably just an unconscious affectation. The old guy’s rubbing off on me I guess.”

“Just one more time—I look over there and I see a dirty grifter who is using you for free drinks and you see…”

“My good familiar Barnabas. It really was a tragic polymorph; even affected the poor creature’s mind.”

Just a little dialogue practice with a fantasy bent; I’ve been invited to play in a Dungeons and Dragons game and it has me pretty excited. I haven’t been a player in an RPG for years now, and even combat-focused games can have great opportunities for characterization. I’m truly looking forward to letting some personality shine.

Header image from Pixabay.com, a wonderful resource for royalty-free stock images.